I didn’t write anything in one year, even though I lived in my dream country for one year. First in Berlin and now in Düsseldorf for two months. I can feel the changes inside me, because this city is bit more friendly and sometimes calm, except in the summer. Living in Düsseldorf, one thing I love most is nature and animal friendly. I was even surprised that there are more Chinese restaurants than Berlin, also I gradually start to pause, think about the life I have built and what I want to do next. I was joking that when in 2017, I self taught programming, my goal was to find a job, then later I worked in this field from Shanghai to Singapore, my goal was finding a programming job in Germany. Becuase I always wanted to escape from city life. I resigned from previous work, because of the toxic company culture. However life is an evolving journey, which is always has conflicts and changes. I think this write is more for myself to process my thoughts through the words, to mark one chapter and a closure.

Fortunately, I start to program Golang in my new job, which I learnt last year in December. Lately, I like to spend more time in the bookshop, to slow down and feel about the presence. At least, I have lived in this universe for 33 years, I really have no idea how long I can live, tomorrow has no promise. Recently, we even start use AI tool for assisting coding, which I tried for one week, I would say the tool is useful till it reaches its limitation. But the side effect using this tool, I lose the fun of writing code, to me engaging the task, doing the deep work, spending hours debug, which are the most rewarding part for programming. To follow the wave is my attitude to AI, but use wisely and balancely. Becuase sometimes, slow work is required for knowledge base task.

I asked myself, what kind of life I want to live for, which ached my heart deeply. Because, in the depth of myself, I hold emotions so long. In the layered myself, I was exploring still. Also, in the depth of my heart, I reveal the answer buried deeply, in me.